My wife and I have been married now for just over 10-years, which I consider an accomplishment in this day and age. There are rough patches, but that’s to be expected. But I was gratified to hear that one of her new co-workers was amazed to learn that we’d been married that long. Why? Because the first thing she sees us do after saying “Hello” is always a simple, quick kiss. Nothing fancy – just a quick peck. Yet, so many couples who have been married for an extended period of time don’t display even that much affection.
Too often, as our relationships age, we become complacent. It’s easy to start taking those we hold dear for granted. This is the first step to discontentment. Fortunately, there are a few simple things everyone can do to keep your relationship fresh.
1. Greet your spouse with a kiss and a hug.
It needn’t be something deep and passionate. A simple kiss on the cheek and a hug is enough to communicate that you missed them and were glad to be back together.
2. End every conversation with “I Love You.”
Guys, your friends will probably harass you, but the truth is that it’s easy for marriages to devolve into pseudo-business partnerships. After all, the stresses of kids, mortgages, car payments, and careers place a strain on everyone. Ridding your life of some of these distractions helps, but others are inevitable. Life WILL throw you curves. A simple reminder amid the chaos works wonders.
3. Cards and handwritten notes
My wife knows she’ll get a card on every holiday. It’s simple, inexpensive, and shows that she is in my thoughts. Whatever you do, please don’t use email for this.
4. Make time for one another.
After our first child was born, I practically had to drag my wife out on a date. She was miserable being separated from him for a mere 2 hours. I finally had to tell her that I love the mother of my child, but I needed some time with my wife. The message got through.
5. Surprise them!
When my wife and I were first married, I told her I would get her a rose for every year we were married on our anniversary. After that first year, I learned just how important that dozen roses was to her. The next year, she received her dozen.
6. Expect to argue.
How could you not argue with someone you live with every day for a decade? There are times that you will irritate one another. Voice your disagreements. Respectfully.
Remember having a sibling? When you were kids growing up, you might fight like cats and dogs, but woe be unto anyone else who laid a hand on them. That goes double for your spouse.
8. Hold hands in public.
Human touch is something we all crave. Give it freely and willingly.
9. Dance together.
Three years ago we were invited to a wedding that was going to have a live band playing 1920’s era “Big Band” music. We found an instructor and took swing dance lessons together. That night, while most of the other couples sat around and talked, we danced the night away.
10. Talk.
Your spouse should be your confidant and your friend. Talk to them. Laugh with them. Enjoy one another’s company. Your relationship will benefit.
The inside of our wedding bands have the following inscription:
TMD
It stands for “Truly, Madly Deeply.”
Relationships are what make life worth living. They put the excitement and zest into our lives. But they are also demand effort. Couples must constantly work at building, and then rebuilding their bonds. So, don’t become complacent. Grand gestures are nice, but it’s the small day-to-day choices will keep your marriages fresh.
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