The Shrinking Middle

     Went to the Lone Star for dinner tonight for the first time in years. Cost $50 and was good. That seems disappointing to me. Further evidence of something that I read about and that I've really started to notice lately which is that there is no room in the "middle". I can spend $100 at Moxies and have an experience. I know it's going to be great and that I am going to be happy. Going in I know I'm going to spend but I also know it's going to have value. I can go to Harvey's and spend $20 and I get good value for the money. Tonight spending $50 for good just didn't seem worth it to me. This phenomenon seems true everywhere though. I think people buy an expensive TV because they want premium entertainment or they buy a cheap TV because it's cheap. I don't think many people buy a middle of the road TV. I think it's the same with clothes. I think people buy a name brand pair of jeans that's expensive or they buy at Wal-Mart. I don't see a big market anymore for that middle of the road product that we used to buy constantly. I think this is some of the reason we are seeing the end of Eatons, The Bay, Sears etc.
     The way I first became aware of this concept it was described as a "race to the bottom". If you aren't delivering tangible value then someone is always going to do it cheaper. People in the workforce or businesses in the marketplace have to realize you can no longer make an average product or do average work and make money at it. Someone is always going to do it cheaper if it takes no real skill. If you expect to be paid you need to add value. I think this is part of the problem with the way the world of work in our communities is changing and people seem to be struggling to adapt. The days of going to work and doing some unskilled labour and being paid well for 30 years until retirement are quickly ending if you look around. As Seth Godin says it is the end of ABC work. ABC stands for Attendance Based Compensation. Less and less companies are willing to pay you just to show up and put in time. I think the world is changing and you need to have a quick factual answer to how you add value. I saw a comment recently that said if you don't think your job is temporary you just haven't realized it yet. I think there is a lot of truth to that. This concept is being trumpeted by many business leaders like Seth Godin and Tom Peters. These guys got where they are because they have the vision to see what's coming.
     It sounds scary but maybe it isn't......maybe we just need to work harder and make sure we deliver work or a product that's worth the money......isn't that what we were supposed to be doing all along? Or was it really fair that we expected jobs with Attendance Based Compensation?

1000 people got together.....

     On Friday night approximately 1000 people got together for the Alliston Relay for Life and raised over $220,000. This shows what can happen when people decide to fight back instead of just accepting things. It reminds me of John Lennon's quote: "If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set we would have peace." A lot of people getting together and each doing a little bit can have tremendous results. 
      People often ask me who I lost to cancer or what my situation is that caused me to get involved. Nothing did except that it pisses me off. It pisses me off that kids get cancer and go through traumatic experiences and even die. It pisses me off that other great people suffer and some are taken prematurely. It is inevitable that if enough research is done we will solve this problem. Don't let people tell you different. There are lots of things that are being done currently and lots of breakthroughs that are very close. Part of the problem is that people think of cancer as one thing and it still exists so they think we aren't getting anywhere. The reality is that there are many forms of cancer and some are getting solved. I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with a form that has actually been identified right to the cell and that is able to be treated with a drug and he should live as normally as you or I for the rest of his life other than taking the medication. 
     So the idea of people getting cancer pisses me off and I get involved with Relay for Life. It pisses me off that kids hang out in front of Tim Horton's and cause trouble. So I get involved with the Youth Center and dances. It pisses me off that I can have anything I want and there are people who don't have enough to eat so I volunteer at the Food Bank......and don't start with the nonsense about how they should be working. Lots of seniors and disabled come into the Food Bank and lots of others with stories that aren't visibly obvious to you. It pisses me off that other people may not have had some of the advantages I have had to learn things so I volunteer at the Literacy Council.
     The point is: What pisses you off? All these problems are solvable. There is an organization out there that is close to solving the problem of Tsunamis by figuring out how to change the water temperature. We can certainly get kids off the street, teach people to read or continue to figure out ways to prolong the lives of people fighting cancer. 
     What pisses you off? Go. Get involved in fighting back against these things. I guarantee you will feel better about yourself. We aren't victims. Get out and help solve a problem like the 1000 or so people did on Friday night.  

Don't Forget Why You Came

      Just read an interesting quote: "When you leave here don't forget why you came". It was from Adlai Stevenson to college graduates. I went past it and didn't post it to Facebook like I normally would because it didn't really fit with what I normally would post. Then I got thinking about it and all the situations in life it applies to: work, friends, spouses etc.
       When we got offered the job, or the friendship was growing or met the spouse there were reasons that we were interested and wanted that person or job as part of our lives. For the most part those reasons are still there but we have come to take them for granted and now we focus on all the irritations.
        Perhaps next time I find myself complaining about my work, or my spouse or a friend I'm going to think about why I wanted to work there or be with that person and I'm going to remember why I came.

Epiphany

     I had an epiphany today. I love the word and I love the concept. The ah ha moment. Anyway my epiphany: I've read all sorts of quotes, comments etc. about running toward your fears and I've never understood the concept. I thought it meant if I was afraid of skydiving I should go do it and I would develop as a person. Maybe that's what some of the people who say it mean but I've never bought into it.
     Today I was thinking again about how we don't ask for what we want and we miss out on so much because we are afraid of our egos being bruised. Then it hit me.....this is what people are talking about. Two people who are both interested in each other but neither says anything about it and they lose the opportunity. A husband and wife who both want more _______  (sex, communication, time out together whatever) but neither tells the other and it spirals downhill, a friendship that fades away because neither pushes the other for more time because each is afraid of feeling needy. Life is full of numerous examples every day.
     I've heard stories of articles and movies of people who are fanatically honest. No lie telling or holding back any thoughts. However I've never heard of anyone doing an experiment where they never let being afraid of something soft (feelings being hurt etc. as opposed to hard like a safety concern or physical fear) stop them from saying or doing things. I guess the heart of it would be asking for things. How many times a day do we settle for less than we could have because we don't ask for what we want? Look at your own life for a day and see how many times you don't ask? What would be different if you did ask?

Keep moving

     I just read a quote from a movie executive who says that in reflection he thinks if he had said no to all the projects he said yes to and yes to all the ones he said no to things would have worked out about the same.....makes me wonder. What's more important: making the right decisions or just doing something? Is it really just all about getting up to bat? A numbers game? 
     Thinking back on the areas of your life where you have been successful is it because you made great decisions or because you gave consistent effort?

Someone died today

     Someone we knew died today. I didn't know him well but I knew him enough to know he was a good man who was taken too soon. I didn't know him well enough to have memories that will remain with me but I will remember the way it happened and I will strive to apply it's lessons to my life. In his memory here are some quotes about life:


For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way.  Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin.  At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.  ~Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Enjoy yourself.  It's later than you think.  ~Chinese Proverb

To change one's life:  Start immediately.  Do it flamboyantly.  No exceptions.  ~William James

Why must conversions always come so late?  Why do people always apologize to corpses?  ~David Brin

You will never find time for anything.  If you want time you must make it.  ~Charles Buxton

Death twitches my ear.  "Live," he says, "I am coming."  ~Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro), Minor Poems, Copa

Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.  ~Ben Irwin

If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance.  ~Andrea Boydston

Expect an early death - it will keep you busier.  ~Martin H. Fischer

Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying.  ~Christian Furchtegott Gellert

No man is quick enough to enjoy life to the full.  ~Spanish Proverb

You don't get to choose how you're going to die.  Or when.  You can only decide how you're going to live.  Now.  ~Joan Baez

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.  ~Japanese Proverb
Don't ever save anything for a special occasion.  Being alive is the special occasion.  ~Author Unknown 

"Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." -Wayne Dyer

This list of quotes came almost exclusively from QuoteGarden. 

Life Is Short

     Another Stu Saunders gem. 

Mar 25, 2009

I am sitting at my favourite Starbucks enjoying a latte. I know all the staff, I am a regular. The manager is sitting at the table beside me. She has just promoted a young barista to a shift supervisor. I am happy to see her so excited. I open my Macbook and look at my dozen new emails.
“I don’t know it you heard?” says the manager as she leans over to me.
“No, what’s the news?” I reply.
“Sandy the other Starbucks Manager, her husband passed away on Sunday.”
“How?!”
“Sudden, don’t know all the details. Went into hospital on Wednesday and was gone on Sunday.”
“How old?” I asked.
“39”
“I’m 39.”
We were all silent for a few minutes.
Life is short, we need to make it sweet. Be great, be awesome. Stop complaining about silly things that are truly silly. Hug your children, love your spouse, smile at a stranger, lead without title.
Now.
You know this stuff. I talk about it all the time. This is not new.
“The sad part about it is we all go back to our lives and not think about it in a few days.” the manager adds as I empty my inbox.
True.
Need to stop that, need to stop.